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    « The Path of the Raging Boll: Far Cry | Main | The Path of the Raging Boll: Seed »

    The Path of the Raging Boll: Postal

    By Jonathan Rind

    Welcome back to the Path of the Raging Boll. We have been going through the films of Uwe Boll and today we are going to be discussing Postal.

    Although it shares the same name as the video game series, it is more inspired by the lowbrow sense of humor than the plot. This movie is Uwe’s attempt at political and cultural satire. There needs to be wit when attempting satire and unfortunately, Postal doesn’t have much of it.

    The film opens onboard an airplane that has been hijacked by terrorists. They start to get confused about the number of virgins they were promised in the afterlife and after deciding that 20 is too low, decide to change course for the Bahamas. An uprising of passengers then swarms the cockpit and they wrestle with the terrorists for control of the plane. We then see a window washer high up on the World Trade Center doing his job. The plane slowly approaches and you can probably guess what happens next. It has no relation to the plot and isn’t really all that funny but if you read that description and found it to be humorous, then you might actually enjoy what Postal has to offer.

    The actual plot of the move focuses on a guy named Dude who is unemployed, lives in a trailer park, and is married to a morbidly obese woman that cheats on him constantly. After getting turned down at a job application, he decides to pay his Uncle Dave a visit. Dave has started his own cult and has dozens of followers that he fucks and takes money from.

    They come up with a scheme to steal a couple thousand “Crotchy” dolls from the local theme park. You see, the dolls are the hottest gift this holiday season but the latest shipment of them sank en route to America. Now the only place that has any is the Little Germany amusement park. Dude and Dave want to steal the dolls and sell them online for a bunch of money.

    While all of this is going on, Osama Bin Laden and some of his cronies have come up with the idea of stealing the same dolls and putting avian flu in them. Osama’s right hand man says it’ll blow "that thing with the planes a few years ago" out of the water.

    Everyone converges on Little Germany, where there is a press conference being held that will feature an appearance by the doll’s ultra-celebrity spokesman Verne Troyer. The owner of the park is none other than Uwe Boll. He plays a character named Uwe Boll. Boll is a director that has made his fortune making film adaptations of video games franchises and claims that his films are all financed by Nazi gold.

    Once everyone shows up and realizes that their goals intersect, a huge mid-movie shootout erupts wherein hundreds of children are shot. Uwe Boll is shot in the dick and his dying words are, “I hate video games!”

    Dave and Dude escape with the dolls and go back to his cult headquarters to hide out in the underground bunker. The house on top of the bunker has been invaded by Al-Qaeda so another shootout erupts. Dave is killed and Dude escapes to try and stop Dave’s disciple from ending the world. Oh and the terrorists are trying to do the same so…it’s a pickle.

    Dude starts going around killing everyone and there is a showdown at his trailer park where he manages to calm everyone down by suggesting that they all get along and hug each other. The people decide against it so Dude shoots all of them. Bin Laden is there as well but he runs away to call George W. Bush from a payphone so that he can be airlifted out of the super sticky situation.

    After the fighting stops, Dude and a new girlfriend who was a barista at the coffee shop “Grind Zero” (GET IT?????) are driving around. The radio informs them that China has launched a crapload of cruise missiles at the States and everyone will be dead in two minutes.

    They drive off carefree and we are left with a shot of Bin Laden and Bush skipping hand in hand through a field as cruise missiles slowly descend onto the land. Boom, credits, “Written and Directed by Uwe Boll”.

    If any of that seemed really funny to you, then you will like Postal. I have to give this movie some credit because it is relentlessly hit-or-miss. There are a lot of jokes here and most of them are just plain not funny. I don’t really think anyone making the movie knew what satire meant because the formula for laughs they used are just sort of cliché and uninspired.

    The movie caught some flack for being in bad taste and offensive but it would really surprise me if anyone were truly offended that actually saw the movie. It takes easy jabs at things that are supposedly controversial, but the whole thing is just too inane to be mad at. At the end of the day the movie is just harmless and unfunny, not offensive and damaging.

    It was nice to see Uwe in his own film as himself showing full self-awareness. He even gets attacked by the creator of the Postal videogame, Vince Desiderio, for making a shitty adaptation. So meta…

    A lot of the jokes fall flat not just because they are juvenile, but because the delivery is really half-hearted. They probably thought that if they just filmed the things they agreed on were funny then the movie would turn out to be a laugh riot. Poking fun at Asians for bad driving, mentally challenged, and obese people is pretty cheap humor, but they don’t even make those jokes worth anything. It is being edgy just to say that you were, and that has never resulted in anything of worth.

    I was actually looking forward to watching Postal because I thought that it would be just be a fun time. Instead it was bland. It’s evident from watching it that they had fun on the set and that is all well and good; if Uwe can get away with having fun making something he enjoys then good on him. There was never any need to try and market this as some sort of biting, satirical black comedy because that is a bit too lofty of a goal. I have to agree with the tagline on the poster though:  “Some comedies go too far, others start there.” No arguments from me. It just wasn’t all that much of a comedy.

    That about wraps it up for Postal, join us tomorrow for Far Cry.

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